We have just opened this new forum category for those who lost someone because of sucide.

I am sad to join this group, but I'm sure I will benefit from speaking with other member who are going through the same emotions.

Yes, Nancy, we ARE looked at differently. Our loved ones' deaths ARE considered CHOICE by far too many, even those who are also grieving the loss of their own loved ones.

I always feel I am judged when people know how Mike died. I have come to understand that Mike's death was ultimately not his choice; his mental illness took over......

Lost my husband of 23 years on 05-21-2009 due to an overdose of rx antidepresion meds. The man i lived with the last years was not the man I knew before. From admiting his addiction to pain meds and trying to get him some help to the so called Doctors giving him at one time 5 different rx for depression. In and out of rehab. But I really thought we had come through the storm. He got a great job he seemed happy but the drinking started again and it was over. Went to work came home after I went to bed that night went to is new shop out back and took 30 seriquil. I was home I could have helped him all he had to do was ask me I would have gone through hell for him. Instead I have the memory of finding him. How do I live with the guilt I feel. I cant get the memory the feel of him the smell of death out of my mind. He knew my biggest fear in life was being alone that being alone would kill me. And here I am all alone. What next? I am so angry and hurt and depressed and sick all in one big wad. Angry at him for doing it. The Doctors for giving him the "bullet" to do it. I just feel if a person has tried to sucide 4 times in less then 10 months maybe more the 15 min every month to get a new prescription isnot enough. Hurt that he felt he had no choice that I wouldnt help him. Depressed that I dnt know how to go on without him. Sick about what Im feeling. I feel so hopeless.Peole say it gets better but I dont see it at all.

I'm so sorry for you. It sounds terrible. If you want to chat, I am listening.

A person who dies by suicide doesn't want to kill him or herself, they want to end the pain by killing it. They believe death is the only way out; their world is unmanageable, and no one and nothing can help them any more.The suicidal mind judges that he or she has tried everything to rid themselves of that intolerable pain, and no option remains except death. This judgement has nothing to do with reality, but they cannot recognize this. They devise a plan for escape and when they have decided nothing will stop them. The pain to live becomes greater than the pain it takes to die. Not one of these people thought about the pain and destruction they will leave behind. I am sure if my son Emile knew how I was going to suffer he would never have taken that last fateful step. They were all involved in a battle in their minds and nothing else mattered to them any more. Suicide is an illnes that can be compared to cancer, it eats away at their minds and the only thing that is left is death. I hope this makes some sense to the people who have lost someone to suicide. Love and hugs!!!

Dear all,

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. My name is Aviva and I am a qualified psychotherapist with experience of working with people through anticipatory loss and grief. My website is www.akcounselling.com. I offer telephone counselling and oneline video counselling through scype. Many of my clients have left working with me feeling much stronger and more self aware. I wish you all the best, Aviva

AVIVA -- please do NOT come trolling on this type of website looking for clients.