Today has been an especially tough day for me and am glad I stumbled upon this website. My dad passed on October 2nd, 2008 from going into cardiac arrest during a procedure. He has the heart attack on a Sunday and stayed a few days in the hospital. After spending 3 and a half days there, we lost him on Thursday evening. It felt so sudden and in the days after dealing with the arrangements I had some weird strength and could only cry in private. I stayed strong to help my mom and sister and to be ok for my 1 year old son.

Months have gone by and I still find it dificult to cry unless I am alone. But today was an especially tough day as my ex-fiance informed me her mother's cancer may be coming back and she is being tested tomorrow. I know the pain and fear that must be within her and it brought back the memories of my father and they somehow feel worse or just as bad. The one thing I fear is that my son will have to burry another grandparent. I'm suddenly sad and missing my dad all over again and am also fearful of what's going to happen to my ex-fiance's mother.

Hi,

I know what you are going through. I lost mom - my best friend a little over a month ago, and it is the most horrible thing on earth. It is good to cry and get that out - I joined a bereavement support group, we all cry together and speak about our loved ones and it helps. Just know that your dad is with you all the time now- have you read Hello From Heaven? He is with you all the time. I am glad you had a chance to get close to him and for him to know your grand son. Please feel free to email me anytime you like,
Nancy