It began as most dreams do, where reality blurs and emotions neutralize.  I found myself at a huge reception watching my mom work the crowd with her usual finesse.  It seemed to be a very familiar place, but I don’t recognize it now.  Although I was aware mom was no longer alive, I was still in the moment casually chatting with her.  I remember overhearing some people who were reflecting on her life, almost like vignettes from her memorial. 

I saw my mom’s first cousin and started describing my conversation with mom in the present tense, but quickly cut myself off consciously realizing he would think I had lost it since we all knew mom had recently died.  As I scanned the room noting that some people were actually talking to her, I was perplexed that others appeared not to even notice her existence.  Suddenly my maternal grandpa appeared, and apparently reading my mind, stated “I can see her, too.”  It hadn't occurred to me that he was dead, too (he passed 10 years prior to mom on the same date.)  I was awestruck by his powerful comment because he had spent his life as a total agnostic.  HE could see her.

I find myself remembering this vivid visit often as it brings me such comfort. I felt no sadness, grief, anguish, or anxiety over the loss of my mom in this dream which occurred exactly two months after her death.  I was peacefully living in the present, enjoying mom, yet cognizant she had died.  It was a gift to learn that it is possible to keep her spirit alive and in my heart while moving on with life.  She will remain close to all of us who shared her love.  WE can see her.