September 28, 2009

She appeared rather unexpectedly near the end of a dream.  Warmth and love radiated from her like a mother basking in the glow of her newborn.  An innate familiarity of all knowingness, coupled with an indescribable feeling of comfort, engulfed me by her presence.  “She’s still alive,” I thought to myself as I soaked in her blissful face with life oozing from her pores.

We knew in our hearts my mom’s impromptu offer to join her on an overnight road trip wasn’t aligned for us at this juncture.  My husband’s face flashed a willingness to embark on this journey, knowing what the precious the time together would mean to us.  But the answer surfaced immediately:  the drive was too much, too late, and too far for our baby who was already asleep... just to fulfill our selfish desires.  Mom intuitively agreed. 

Departing as quickly as she arrived, I accompanied mom back to her car and hopped in, knowing we could share a few more moments of life together.  She impulsively offered again, this time proposing a short daytrip I could take alone and meet her a few days later.  I knew the timing was right.  We chatted a little longer while circling the driveway until the car came to a halt.  It was time for mom to resume her journey.

She paused for a moment while her eyes cast their gaze in admiration of the new plants outside our home; the ones I had planted and yearned to show to this miraculous gardener and amazing mom after she died.  My heart sank when I realized I had forgotten to take her to our lush patio where some of her babies (her plants) were flourishing.  “Next time” she promised as she drove away, leaving her love behind.